week 46: and other things
this week on the little dream farm
Earlier in the week I mentioned via Instagram Stories I was nursing a major disappointment. I’d planned to write about it in today’s Farm Note but I’m not quite there yet…I’m going to give this one some time and space to breathe.
For now, I’ll share the advice my mom always gave me growing up when the disappointments rear their head in life.
She always urged me to give myself an allotted period of time to live in the disappointment and let myself feel all the feelings—let it suck, let it hurt, let it sting, cry my eyes out, beat the pillows, go for a long, hard, fast run or lay in bed all day and wallow in a pint of ice cream—whatever is needed to fully feel my way through it. But…and this is the key…give it a period of time with an expiration, and at the end of that allotted time, it’s time to pick myself up, dust myself off, and carry on.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve applied this through the years. So earlier this week I gave myself two good full days. And boy was the pity party one for the ages. But come Wednesday morning, it was time to carry on…and carry on we must!
Now certainly I’m not a robot and as wonderful as this method is it’s not foolproof because our emotions—and the big disappointments in life—are not straightforward. But, when little moments popped up during the week where I wanted to pull back on the pity party pants, it does help to remember, There was a time for that, and that time has now passed, so now we’re focusing on being present and also moving forward. I’ve learned through the years, the method isn’t about perfect application but using it as a guide for moving through something hard.
I offer this to you in case you find it helpful next time you need it most. And the rest, well, I’ll tell you about it some other time.
So let me tell you a little about this week…and other things.
Thankfully Chris got back from his visit to Arizona to see his dad on Tuesday evening just in time to help me snap out of my misery. While this one sucks for the both of us, Chris has a much more level head and a totally different approach to how he thinks about well…most things. Thank goodness we’re so different in that way because we balance each other out and we’re always learning such valuable gems from one another.
He had a great time in Arizona and got to spend quality time with his dad, who always whips up the most fabulous meals when Chris is in town and they get to plop themselves in front of the TV and watch almost all their favorite sports teams together.
Back here at home, we had a few nights that dipped into the low 20s this week so into storage went the patio furniture and all the window screens from the house. These are some of the final things we knock out before we’re all buttoned up for winter here on the farm.
On Saturday morning our neighbor rode his tractor down the road to spread the donkey’s piled up manure all over the Cut Flower Patch/Dahlia Patch area.
The deal we worked out is that if he comes and spreads the manure over the patch for me in the fall so it can decompose over winter and then he tills it into the patch in the spring, then he can have all the manure that stacks up from fall to spring for his own gardens.
I love the country life barter system. In fact, just the other week I traded a woman some dahlia tubers for some of her 30-year old sourdough starter. What a trade, right?!
We also allow a local friend to hunt on our land and in turn he generally services our vehicles at his auto body shop usually the same day we bring them in or the very next.
We’ll see what kind of trades we can strike up in our fourth year here on the Little Dream Farm!
With the donkey manure spreading checked off the list that’s the very last thing we’ll do with the growing spaces this year. We are officially finished with growing-season-related duties for the 2024 season and ready to hang out hats and rest for the winter.
We lit our first fire together in the wood stove this week. The flannel pajamas and winter robes and slippers are on. The kettle goes on for tea every evening. And my bedtime seems to get earlier and earlier the less daylight hours we have.
Admittedly, I’m not a huge fan of winter. I generally run cold and I really dislike being cold and it being cold and having so little daylight, but somehow the winter has really grown on me here. I guess because we’re so tied to the seasons and so in-tune with the cycles of the year—it’s hard not to have a greater appreciation for the winter months and how everything outside needs rest in order to grow…as do we.
This time of year is my favorite for dreaming up new dreams. Thinking and planning for the year to come. Reviewing the progress we’ve made, what we learned, what went well and didn’t, what we want to do more and less of, and how we want to feel in the coming year and upcoming growing season.
As I’m starting to take that look back and reflect on the year, I’m proud that we stayed true to how we—how I—was feeling in the beginning of this year. That I wanted this year to be about appreciating what we have and not just perpetually adding more for the sake of doing and having more.
This is a topic Chris and I visit a lot while we’re on our long adventure drives throughout this region—the concept of enough. We talk about how to define it. How to recognize when you have it. How to be appreciative of it.
Enough.
We’re not really good at enough…we humans. We’re particularly and perpetually obsessed with more. And while I’m a self-proclaimed achiever…overachiever…seeker…wanter of more…I’m grateful this year that we exercised the practice of enough and steadied ourselves in enjoying what is.
Something I’ve had to learn the hard way here on the farm is that I simply cannot go as fast as my mind would like to—because doing everything kinda-well with hair on fire is a far less pleasant look than doing a few things well and enjoying the process while doing it.
This is something David told me—perhaps forewarned me of—when we were taking over the farm—about taking on too much too fast. But, as we must to truly know our own limits, I had to test those limits myself to know where my own and our own capacity lies.
Now in our fourth year here on the farm, it’s interesting to look back and think of all the things I and we thought we wanted when we were so brand new to this farm. Mostly, those fundamental things haven’t changed. But certainly there were some wild and far-flung ideas in there from time to time!
We’re proud to be heading into this next year with a good, steady head on our shoulders and a whole lot of little dreams yet to bring into being.
I shared on IG yesterday that I found a good-for-you superfood hot chocolate I’ve been drinking for the last year that I really love and so many of you messaged me that you wanted the link and said you wanted to try it. Here’s that link!
Had to grab a spray to keep the cats from totally tearing up the new chair we got for us…that they turned into a chair for them. Here’s one we got that works.
This year Chris wanted new pillows for his birthday so I went on a hunt and came up with these hotel pillows. Chris is really picky about pillows and he loves these! They’re so good I’m ordering a set for myself and right now they’re on sale with a few additional promotions—great time to order.
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