Thank you for having the courage to share your cloudy days with us because we all experience them at some point or other in our lives, some more than others. I have had to step back from social media many times as I struggle with being a long-distance grandmother. It is so hard to see all the happy posts from family and friends sharing the wonderful moments and special occasions they get to share with their grandchildren when my reality is that those moments are only possible in person a few times each year. I go to the dirt to work through those darker days when possible, there is something so cathartic and peaceful about digging in my gardens. I also turn to my fur family (our dogs and our cat) for some much needed cuddles or a long walk. I can feel my serotonin and dopamine levels elevating to help calm and relax me as I stroke Sophie and Mia’s soft fur or hear the steady purring of Mance, our cat. The serenity prayer is my constant companion and I have said it so many times throughout the years and truly believe that prayers are answered. Life with your cousin, Whitney, has taught me that many times the answer I get isn’t the answer I wanted but the answer I needed. Hugs and love across the miles and keep using all the tools in your basket to help those clouds part and let the sun shine through.
Thank you so much for sharing this - reminding myself that the garden can be a place to go TO when things get hard instead of a source of hard things. That perspective shift is really important. Wishing you more time with the little ones and I know it's so hard not to be close to family - I keep trying to convince the fam to move here but alas...Give Whitney and everyone else a big hug for me- miss you guys!
Yes! A dark cloud. A heavy coat. A funk. It certainly slides in sometimes and thankfully doesn’t always stay too long. For me, I try to take the time to be quiet so I can hear God. In music. In devotionals. In snuggling my sweet kitties. Many times, busy can just be covering up things that need to be processed. I recently was out for a fun day and a wave of anxiety/panic hit. And I was so thankful for all the tools I have now. I was able to breathe. Do positive self-talk. Run my wrists under cold water. And then enjoy the rest of my day. Because these things are part of my life, but they no longer define me. Praying for sunshine this week!
These things are so helpful - especially love the running water on the wrists. I find myself doing that from time to time. And yes - busy certainly can be a distraction from really looking at what needs to be addressed or healed - that's wise to note that. Thank you for sharing your heart and these tools.
So it all resonates - but especially this: Call it a character defect, but I’ve always wrestled with the balance of being the type of person who hates sitting still and having nothing to do and then being overwhelmed by the amount of stuff on my plate…
I'm in totally overwhelmed mode and paralyzed - making the amount of work I have to do even more. Never ending anxiety. I'm older and still trying to find the right tools... share those as you can :)
I have been working through depression and anxiety too. I see a therapist to help me with it. I sought help after my friend was killed by driver on her morning walk 3 years ago. The passing of a beloved family member that I took care of and my sweet kitty. So much loss within 2 years was more than I could bear. I became somewhat of a recluse.
Trying to work and cope with life was almost unbearable. I have breathing techniques my therapist gave me to use when the anxiety set in. It is better now but creeps in on occasion. I give myself grace. I stopped putting pressure on myself to get things done all the time. I have learned to prioritize what needs to be done right away and what can wait. I do things that bring me joy and have learned that putting myself out there is not such a bad thing!
You are doing great Sarah. Everything you are doing is helping you through what you are feeling. Through the animals and the land and having Chris there to support you are all good remedies. Thank you for putting yourself out there for all of us. Give yourself grace when needed. We are all works in progress and are doing the best we can.
I'm very sorry to hear about these losses and the struggle you've been through because of them. Glad you've been working through it with help and you're so right about grace - it's such an important part of the process. I appreciate your kind words!
I find it interesting that you mention clouds. It doesn't happen often for me but when it does I feel like there is a black cloud over me. I want to get back to feeling happy but it's as if I am trapped inside myself and I don't quite know the way.
Down time is best for me. Being in nature, binge watching a favorite show and spending time loving on my kitty all help.
I agree about silencing social media. Social media can be a blessing but sometimes it can also be like a bad neighborhood. When the cloud rolls in i just can't find the energy, or the words, to be on social media..
On a bright note, I bought Gladiola bulbs and a flat of purple Petunias. The purple one are fragrant. One hanging basket and my whole yard smells good. I also have a start of a Geranium to pot. I was outside the grocery store and noticed a piece with beautiful blooms broken off one of the plants. I took it home, put it in water and ta-da! It rooted! Life is good. It's the little things. And I am long winded so I will fall silent now. Bye y'all!
This really resonates, I have felt the same this week and also describe it as having dark clouds. My partner is really helpful and asks “what the clouds are like” so we both know where I am at that moment. I’m craving a walk in the woods but have lost my walking shoes in a house move, but going to don my trainers and go for a wander regardless.
My tip is to make sure you put in time for things you enjoy, even if it’s just sitting on the porch with a coffee and a good book for a little while, so it doesn’t all become about the “shoulds” (ie “I should do this”, “I should feel this way”). It helps for me.
Thank you for having the courage to share your cloudy days with us because we all experience them at some point or other in our lives, some more than others. I have had to step back from social media many times as I struggle with being a long-distance grandmother. It is so hard to see all the happy posts from family and friends sharing the wonderful moments and special occasions they get to share with their grandchildren when my reality is that those moments are only possible in person a few times each year. I go to the dirt to work through those darker days when possible, there is something so cathartic and peaceful about digging in my gardens. I also turn to my fur family (our dogs and our cat) for some much needed cuddles or a long walk. I can feel my serotonin and dopamine levels elevating to help calm and relax me as I stroke Sophie and Mia’s soft fur or hear the steady purring of Mance, our cat. The serenity prayer is my constant companion and I have said it so many times throughout the years and truly believe that prayers are answered. Life with your cousin, Whitney, has taught me that many times the answer I get isn’t the answer I wanted but the answer I needed. Hugs and love across the miles and keep using all the tools in your basket to help those clouds part and let the sun shine through.
Thank you so much for sharing this - reminding myself that the garden can be a place to go TO when things get hard instead of a source of hard things. That perspective shift is really important. Wishing you more time with the little ones and I know it's so hard not to be close to family - I keep trying to convince the fam to move here but alas...Give Whitney and everyone else a big hug for me- miss you guys!
Yes! A dark cloud. A heavy coat. A funk. It certainly slides in sometimes and thankfully doesn’t always stay too long. For me, I try to take the time to be quiet so I can hear God. In music. In devotionals. In snuggling my sweet kitties. Many times, busy can just be covering up things that need to be processed. I recently was out for a fun day and a wave of anxiety/panic hit. And I was so thankful for all the tools I have now. I was able to breathe. Do positive self-talk. Run my wrists under cold water. And then enjoy the rest of my day. Because these things are part of my life, but they no longer define me. Praying for sunshine this week!
These things are so helpful - especially love the running water on the wrists. I find myself doing that from time to time. And yes - busy certainly can be a distraction from really looking at what needs to be addressed or healed - that's wise to note that. Thank you for sharing your heart and these tools.
Imagine a big hug…❤️
Love this. Thank you.
So it all resonates - but especially this: Call it a character defect, but I’ve always wrestled with the balance of being the type of person who hates sitting still and having nothing to do and then being overwhelmed by the amount of stuff on my plate…
I'm in totally overwhelmed mode and paralyzed - making the amount of work I have to do even more. Never ending anxiety. I'm older and still trying to find the right tools... share those as you can :)
So looking forward to the flower garden!!!
Hello Sarah,
I have been working through depression and anxiety too. I see a therapist to help me with it. I sought help after my friend was killed by driver on her morning walk 3 years ago. The passing of a beloved family member that I took care of and my sweet kitty. So much loss within 2 years was more than I could bear. I became somewhat of a recluse.
Trying to work and cope with life was almost unbearable. I have breathing techniques my therapist gave me to use when the anxiety set in. It is better now but creeps in on occasion. I give myself grace. I stopped putting pressure on myself to get things done all the time. I have learned to prioritize what needs to be done right away and what can wait. I do things that bring me joy and have learned that putting myself out there is not such a bad thing!
You are doing great Sarah. Everything you are doing is helping you through what you are feeling. Through the animals and the land and having Chris there to support you are all good remedies. Thank you for putting yourself out there for all of us. Give yourself grace when needed. We are all works in progress and are doing the best we can.
I'm very sorry to hear about these losses and the struggle you've been through because of them. Glad you've been working through it with help and you're so right about grace - it's such an important part of the process. I appreciate your kind words!
I find it interesting that you mention clouds. It doesn't happen often for me but when it does I feel like there is a black cloud over me. I want to get back to feeling happy but it's as if I am trapped inside myself and I don't quite know the way.
Down time is best for me. Being in nature, binge watching a favorite show and spending time loving on my kitty all help.
I agree about silencing social media. Social media can be a blessing but sometimes it can also be like a bad neighborhood. When the cloud rolls in i just can't find the energy, or the words, to be on social media..
On a bright note, I bought Gladiola bulbs and a flat of purple Petunias. The purple one are fragrant. One hanging basket and my whole yard smells good. I also have a start of a Geranium to pot. I was outside the grocery store and noticed a piece with beautiful blooms broken off one of the plants. I took it home, put it in water and ta-da! It rooted! Life is good. It's the little things. And I am long winded so I will fall silent now. Bye y'all!
Sue thank you for sharing this - sounds like your home is a beautiful oasis with all the wonderful growing you've been doing!
This really resonates, I have felt the same this week and also describe it as having dark clouds. My partner is really helpful and asks “what the clouds are like” so we both know where I am at that moment. I’m craving a walk in the woods but have lost my walking shoes in a house move, but going to don my trainers and go for a wander regardless.
My tip is to make sure you put in time for things you enjoy, even if it’s just sitting on the porch with a coffee and a good book for a little while, so it doesn’t all become about the “shoulds” (ie “I should do this”, “I should feel this way”). It helps for me.
I hope the clouds lift for you soon.
That's such a good question - what are the clouds like. Thank you for sharing this!