week 31: mishmash
this week on the little dream farm
A few things this week:
Second Place
Three weeks ago we submitted an offer on a small farm in northwestern Rhode Island and came in second place. We submitted the offer on a Wednesday night and the sellers didn’t make their final decision until late afternoon that Friday. The waiting game was fierce and the more the hours passed the more we were feeling like they were going to choose the competing offer.
Now a few weeks removed, we’re very much at peace with it.
To give some context, we’ve probably looked through more than 1,000 homes and farms online in the last two years all over the New England area. Thus far, we’ve driven east to see only seven of those homes/farms in person. We thought we’d make an offer on three of the places and then decided otherwise, and the one offer we have made, we did not win.
While this search feels like something we might do in private, Chris and I discussed that we very much want to share some of the elements of our search with you because it’s part of our journey, it’s a piece of the whole story, it’s something on our hearts…and you are very much a part of it.
We recently developed a very specific list with all of our “must haves” for the next place we decide to move to. As much as I consider myself to be pretty woo woo on the Woo Woo Scale, my approach is less like the movie, The Secret where they’re basically saying “I asked the Universe for money and received a big check in the mail.”
Rather, I more closely align with Paulo Coelho’s famous quote, “And when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.”
My belief in asking God and the Universe for what you want is also shaped by many years of receiving Notes from the Universe and reading Mike Dooley books and listening to his talks about not worrying about the “cursed hows” and taking action towards your dreams.
So, the way I look at it is that Chris and I have made our list. We’ve made it known what we want and what we’re looking for. For me (Chris is much more down to earth and a whole lot less woo woo) I believe that what is meant for us will come when it is aligned…just as the Little Dream Farm came into our sights as it did, too.
Rather than worrying about those “cursed hows,” what Chris and I remain focused on is saving our money, keeping an eye on the listing sites, keeping in touch with our fabulous Realtor (seriously y’all would love her, she’s amazing and she’s the most perfect fit for us), keeping an eye on the greater housing market, and being willing to hop in the car to drive back and forth to the region even if we view a home and ultimately pass on it…like we did last weekend when we drove seven hours round trip to see a place in Northern Rhode Island but we were only there for less than 30 minutes because the house ended up being an easy no once we saw it in person.
So! Now and then we’ll share bits and pieces of the search and certainly if you have questions, ask away!
Chris’ Mom
Many of you have seen via Instagram that Chris’ mom hasn’t been well. After an initial stay at the hospital she was moved to a rehab facility and then had to go back to a different hospital to be treated for an infection. She’s back in the rehab facility now and will remain there until she’s strong enough to go in to long term care in the same facility.
Rather than talking about the specifics of her health, all I wanted to mention here is that I’ve been talking with a lot of you this week via DMs on Instagram who’ve shared with me the details of dealing with aging parents and navigating hospital stays and nursing care and insurance nightmares, and the mental, physical, and emotional toll it takes. I know many of you have been through this and several years ago I helped my mom navigate this road with my grandma after a fall that caused her to go downhill very fast and she passed not long after that incident.
I was sitting next to two women on a plane to Atlanta this week, and they didn’t know each other but the one woman was detailing the heart-wrenching story of the current struggles she and her husband are navigating with her mother being in an assisted living facility and it bleeding them dry financially. My heart was breaking for her and for them as she told this story…a series of unfortunate events…that will be the details that very sadly shape the end of her mother’s life.
I’m thinking a lot about our healthcare system. I’m thinking about how we take care of old people. I’m thinking about aging and the importance of taking care of ourselves. Chris and I have been thinking a lot about family, our childhoods, and how we grew up. We’re thinking a lot about just trying to make the next best decision for his mom given all the circumstances. And we’re very much thinking a lot about her.
Please comment below if you happen to be (or have recently) navigated something similar and want or need to talk about it. It’s important to take care of yourself and lean on others when you’re going through such a hard thing…it’s never easy watching our parents and loved ones get older.
On the Go
We happen to have a lot of travel coming up these next few months. Chris is down in Florida this weekend visiting friends (and visiting his mom on both the front and back end of his trip) and then he’ll head off to Europe in a few weeks with some friends, too. He’s got a trip to see his dad on the docket, and will have to travel for work in there as well.
I was in Georgia this week for a quick work trip and will be back there again in two weeks for a conference. Then I’m down in DC in September for a few weeks to prep for a big event one week and then execute the event the following.
I absolutely hate being off the farm in the summertime…and especially in September! I so badly wish I could avoid both my upcoming trips. I dread having to miss the perfect morning sunrises. I hate having to miss days being in the dahlia patch watching flowers open one by one day by day. I never like missing tucking the donkeys in or putting the chickens to bed or getting to sit on the couch in the morning with all the Furmers around me with the windows open and the crickets chirping all around us.
But! Lots of you happen to live between Atlanta and Warner Robins and a bunch of you also live in DC so I am looking to set up two little get togethers while I’m in each place so we can finally hug in real life and get to spend a little time if you live in or near one of those places. Be on the lookout on IG for that!
The Steady Drumbeat of the Farm
As for the farm on a whole…we’re in a steady summer drumbeat now. There’s a rhythm to everything here on the farm and we’re in that part of the growing season where the lawn gets mowed every week, the weeds get pulled in the gardens, the fruits and veggies are all coming in nicely, save for the things the groundhogs are getting to now.
This year is exactly as I wanted it to be—less. Less running. Less doing. Less projects. Less work. More afternoons at the lake. More day trips in the car to new places. More markets for little hauls to make up snack plates at home together. More relaxing and soaking up what we have. More being at peace in the moment.
A Little Dream
I’ll leave you today with just a quick little clip of the donkeys in their pasture munching on the grass, swishing their tails to keep the flies away. Seeing them out here set against the backdrop of our sweet little farm house and that big, beautiful red barn…I always just think to myself, What a Little Dream.
I’ve got just three things for you this week…the things that seem to be all Y’ALLs favorite things!
Many of you have picked up this incredible pet hair remover and seriously I can’t suggest it enough…if you have pets and you don’t have this…get it. It’s that good.
Ladies…y’all have been loving this perfect one piece swimsuit recommendation. I’m so glad! I truly think this would be flattering on every shape…love the stripes, love the quality, love the fit…think you’ll love it too!
So glad you’ve loved this white leather sneaker recommendation. Like I’ve said before, I think white athletic sneakers always make your legs look longer and leaner, and I love that they can be wiped off so easily, too. I just threw my pair in the wash this week and they came out perfectly clean and like-new.
*Note: Not all, but most of these links are affiliate links. That’s no matter to you, as it costs you nothing. However, if you make a purchase, we -may- receive a teeny weeny commission.
Sorry your offer for the RI property did not work out but agree that there is always a reason for these big things to go the way they do. Also sorry that Chris’ mom is going through a health crisis - and that means the family does too. My parents and in-laws both aged pretty well and the last part of their journey was quick. I used to think about the gift of not watching them suffer a long drawn out last chapter - and then my husband was diagnosed with Lewy Body Dementia in 2017. The physical side of illness is challenging enough but the anticipatory grief and concern while caring for a loved one is immense. Then navigating a health care system that is not perfect (I might be generous in this comment) and also the financial toll that it can take is overwhelming. What I can say with certainty is that losing the LOML in 2020 right before COVID lockdown was traumatic but it also woke me up to the reality of what we all face and how best to prepare for it. Try your best to stay healthy. Change lifestyle habits that can put you in danger of losing your physical and mental health. Preventative care can keep you out of the healthcare system for longer. Be prepared for what might happen to the best of your ability - make changes in your home if needed to create a sustainable living environment. Talk to your family about what, where and how you see your aging in place or other solutions. Think about long term care insurance when you are younger to lighten the financial burden later if needed. As a caregiver make sure you have a strong social/support network - it is what will get you through the toughest times. My single friends and I even talk about communal living “when we are old” and I truly believe that it can provide a solution to the large aging population now and the next larger “millennial” generation to come. We may see multi generation family living come back as it was decades ago. There is not one answer to this really complex situation. I believe we have to be open to new ideas about how to address the solutions - one thing is sure, this is when planning is really necessary!
Loved this week’s column, although my heart goes out to Chris and his mom. I don’t want to move to FL (Englewood area on the Gulf coast), but my mom might need me soon and I’ll definitely do it when the time comes. Re: your D.C. Trip, please add me to the RSVP list when you put the call out! Mariamihalik2424@gmail.com. Also, here’s my question for your Q&A—pardon me if you’ve already addressed it: Why don’t you guys want to be rocking on the front porch of the LDF when you’re old and gray? Is it because you want closer access to an airport and a big city with easily accessed cultural things to do? I do remember you saying something like that a while back…Thanks!! 💐💐💐💐