Hi Sarah - thank you for sharing and being so open, that’s not always an easy thing to do and your words are the stuff life is made of. I’m gutted for you because it’s clear how much you love your job. Praying that something opens up for you so you can continue to what you love. I’m a lot older than you and have experienced many ups and downs and each time it’s new and I don’t have a playbook. Your thinking and feeling honestly with yourself will get you through each time. Don’t be angry with yourself, be kind and supportive and respectful of YOU. Living with self-love helps keep your heart peaceful in stressful times. .
YOU are such a remarkable wonderful resourceful loving kind smart caring respectful imaginative person! In this jobs market you bring great value to anyone looking for someone with your qualities and training. Check out programs that hire military personnel. Breathe and meditate and love yourself so the angst you’ve felt doesn’t cover up the incredible person you are. My best to you!
Truly, this is so much nicer than anything I've said to myself in a long while. Thank you for this. What a balm your words are. I will come back here and re-read this as many times as I need to so it soaks in. Thank you.
Oh Sarah…I too have been through something like this, more than once. At first it’s devastating. But as I’ve gotten older, early fifties now, I’ve come to realize that it always ends up being ok. Somehow, some way, it always ends up being ok. It always works out. And what you thought, expected or wanted doesn’t even compare to what ends up being. Change often means there’s something more for you. If you’re always comfortable growth comes much slower. Change is character building! Whatever comes next for you I’m sure it’s going to be wonderful! How could it not be?? You got this girl! Sending you positive thoughts from Western Washington! -Kandi
Sarah, I am so sorry to hear this about your job! I went through something similar a few years ago. I'm a pastry chef and I had worked at a little mom and pop coffee shop for several years when a former employee took over as owner. Things were fine for a couple years and then I get let go via TEXT on my weekend once, out of the blue with no warning. I had put so much of myself into the work I did there and had a lot of loyal customers, and being let go was incredibly unfounded. I didn't know what I was going to do and had no other income at the time, but the very same day I posted to my social media about no longer being a part of that company, I was DMed by the head chef and owner of a well respected local restaurant, asking if I'd like to sit down and talk about a job opportunity. I took that job, and a year and a half later, I've gotten to hone my craft in a different area of kitchen work that I had previously not attempted, and I've learned SO much! I have faith that you'll land on your feet 💜
Amanda I'm so glad you shared this story! What a testament to the notion that things are always working out for us...even if it doesn't seem like it at the moment. BTW--when do you want to come over and cook/bake together?! 😝🤩
Perhaps it's time to work on your next calling... you're one brilliant writer! It would not surprise me if your next adventure turns out to be a full time author!
Oh this is just so good. Here's a quick story for you:
About a year ago my mom, completely and totally out of the blue, said to me one day on the phone: "I see you in a chunky sweater, sitting at a desk looking out a window with a steaming cup of coffee while you're working on your book. I see you as a writer."
Fast forward to a few months ago and I was out on a walk randomly thinking about what she'd said, laughing at how exact her vision was and how I could see it just based on how she'd described it.
Later that morning Chris and I were down in Rhinebeck, NY spending the day walking around and enjoying seeing a few new little towns. We were in this store that sold both mens and women's clothing and home goods and I walked up to Chris who was in the women's section and he held up this chunky knit black cardigan and said, "This would be an awesome writing sweater for you!"
I had to stop him and ask him to repeat it I was so shocked!
So...thank you for these words. I've been thinking about this a lot lately. And I've been writing things as they come. And I have several books inside me. It appears I now have the time to write them. ❤️
I think, generally, the older we get, the better equipped we become to handle the ol' rug pulling. I never had the perspective you seem to have at such a young age (David may be your Jiminy Cricket), so it took a long time to get comfortable with big change/losses. And to be honest, I'm still not quite there, but after many, many more rug pulls, I'm definitely much, much closer (worrying in in my DNA).
Hang in there! And yes, pay attention. Love on the buggies and the chickens and the furmers. Oh, and Chris, too. :-)
Lisa this is such a sweet note - thank you. Hahaha yes, must not forget about Chris! 😝 I love how you called it the ol' rug pulling. It made me giggle and I'm loving any levity I can find at the moment! Have you ever watched the movie Peaceful Warrior? I think it was last week's Farm Note that I talked about it. If you've not seen it--it's a fave of mine. And David is absolutely Soc to me. I've even told him that and bought him a copy of the book.
I've always said that my worrying could maybe be dialed down a bit, but somehow it's also gotten me to some pretty cool places so I at least like to think it holds some sort of purpose and can't all be bad! I love how Liz Gilbert talks about it in this interview she did with Marie Forleo...it's from YEARS ago but it is still as good as gold: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HyUYa-BnjU8
If you get a chance to listen to it I hope you enjoy it as much as I have many times over.
Funny enough I’m going through exactly the same thing right now. My company downsized by half and I’ve been frantically applying to new jobs since the beginning of June and I’ve had little success, not even an interview! I have many years in the pharmaceutical industry (25) and I haven’t had one hiring manager reach out when others in my company have already landed new jobs. I’m beginning to worry that nothing will happen. I do have a neighbor who said he has an inside sales position in the food industry that I actually think I’m going to talk to him about. It’s a completely new industry but I am a foodie, and I love to cook with good quality produce so I know what to look for when trying to sell to the restaurants and hotel chefs that I would potentially be selling to. Do I take that chance? I probably will if nothing comes of my applications within the next month. Am I terrified? Another yes! What you wrote today resonates with me so much! Thank you for putting it out there! Maybe taking this step will lead to something enjoyable for me to do in my last 12 years of employment! I’m heading towards retirement by then so who knows? It may just be the work I need!
I'm very sorry to hear that this happened to you and can't believe the experience you've been having with having such a tough time trying to get a job! I've been doing the same - more than 50 applications and nothing to show for it but a string of rejection letters and complete silence. 13 years as a leader and military officer. 3 degrees. An MBA. A business owner. And exactly the same as you said - finding others scoring jobs more quickly/easily. I'd be lying if I wasn't looking around saying, "What the heck is wrong with me!?"
Ok, so with that out of the way...it makes me want to say this: what is for you not only will not pass you...it CANNOT pass you. Sure, we can get in our own way and do plenty of things to muck it up along the way, but those doors are being closed to you because they were never meant to be yours to walk through. It does NOT mean you are not worthy of them. It simply means they were never yours to begin with.
I heard something the other day: Rejection is Protection. Rejection does not mean that something is wrong with you, it means that you are being REDIRECTED towards what is better suited to exactly the thing that is meant for you next. Oftentimes, just on the other end of rejection is the thing we were being positioned for. In that time, we often face struggles because we're being tested to see if we've dealt with our demons, if you will, so that we're ready to rise to the challenge when the next HELL YES comes rushing in.
Chris has this saying I've always loved: "You don't have to know what you want for the rest of your life but you do have to prepare yourself so that when the moment presents itself, you will be ready."
Not that I have ANY weight in the matter whatsoever, but this sales position sounds AMAZING--especially if it's based around something you already love so much. I can't wait to hear if you decide to talk to him about it and at least explore it as an option! You never know where that might lead.
Thank you for sharing what you're going through. I'll be thinking of you as you navigate this time and this really helped me, too. Hugs to you!
Thank you so much for replying! I completely understand when you ask “what’s wrong with me?” I’ve done it so many times over the last few months. I spoke to a recruiter who said to me “it’s not you, it’s them!”. While this helped a bit there’s always the question in the back of your kind when you see others getting calls for interviews and it’s just crickets in your end.
I will definitely be talking to my neighbor about the inside sales position he has available. I need to explore what it’s about. Who knows? It may lead to something fantastic!
I truly hope something falls into your lap that will become more than just a job because it follows one (or more) of your passions!
I will definitely be thinking of you as I go through my journey :) I know you’ll find something great, just as I will.
Here’s to new beginnings and to letting go of what we can’t control!
My dad got sick a few years ago and died very quickly. I worked with him and all my life was based around the security he had given me. He died in the middle of a financial catastrophe, that he may have been able to manage but that we had no clue how to resolve. It took us 9 years to fix everything and in doing all that work, I learned that I’m a very strong person, a pretty methodical person, and that I can do anything if I just stop telling myself I can’t. I would much rather still have my dad... but I’m glad to know that I can do terribly hard things if I have to.
Laura thank you for sharing this deeply tough story. I resonated with this so much. The circumstances were different, but when my dad also suddenly passed none of his affairs were in order. Rather than grieving his death, I spent six months furiously working to get my mom to as best of place I could with her living and financial situation before heading off to a six month deployment. My dad had been working in the UAE when he died and coincidentally I was stationed in Abu Dhabi for my deployment. Each week, my general would let me leave the base and go to the UAE court to beg the government to cash the money from the accounts my dad had there, as he was being paid in Dinar and then transferring that money to a US bank every so often. It was a horrendous time. But just as you said--as much as I'd still much rather have my dad still here, I was so proud the day the judge caved and finally let me take home my dad's money to give to my mom. It was really special of you to have shared this...thank you for reminding me of this lesson, too. 🙏
That’s the worst part, not being able to grieve. So many years have passed and I imagine I’ve done it in bits and pieces over the years, but it’s not what you expect to do when a parent dies. I would have thought I’d get to shut down and I just had to keep truckin. Again, I’m glad that it taught me what I’m capable of, but it was learned in the worst way. I’m glad you were able to help your mom. That has been my guiding principle for the last 9 years, protecting her. Now I have to find a new purpose and it’s not as easy as one might expect. I’m just trying to stay calm and listen and hopefully I will find it. I’m positive we both will!!!
This is so much for you to handle and to have gone through. I'm really sorry for the way it played out and for the loss of your dad but glad you realize your strength. Here if you ever need an ear. Something else I learned was it doesn't matter how many years have passed--you can still be grieving and truly never get over a loss such as this. ❤️
That’s probably where I’m at, still quietly grieving. Thanks for the offer of an ear. Likewise. Watching you guys and all your menagerie and flowers and fields has been a great joy during difficult times. ❤️
Ugh - what a terrible feeling.. the rug pulling metaphor is interesting because the feeling it evokes is shaky. Shaky sucks! I recall the feeling, and as someone who works on grant dollars (never stable) I know it too well. But you learn to strengthen your core (more methaphor for me) and stand steady. In the meantime you learn to plan for the worst - but remember how much you have already and expect the best... it's what you deserve!
It's so hard not to spiral about the next thing but I know in my heart the stillness is what is best. Such wise and sound and STEADY advice- thank you for this, Liz!
I can only pass on what my friend Amy told me the first time my life fell apart: “It will all be okay in the end. If it’s not okay, it’s simply not the end.” I have looked in the mirror and said that out loud so many times. Also this: Just when the caterpillar thought the world had ended, it emerged as a butterfly.”
Catchy sayings aside, it’s normal to feel all that you’ve expressed, and dancing towards the void is not easy, it’s an act of courage and faith. When I ran from the void, it chased me. When I danced with it, it helped me evolve, like that caterpillar above. The “goo” stage in the middle is the void doing its thing.
People like you and I—those who do, do, do, who take pride in our work, who like to see the output of our efforts—tend to be those who like to be in control. And for people like us, uncertainty is the worst! I feel for you. Stewing in uncertainty, and moving to comfort with uncertainty, is quite the undertaking. I admire how you are approaching it—with an openness to experience and by listening. I wish I had some words of wisdom but know that I am sending virtual hugs from Minnesota.
Valerie - I've had a job since I was 14 years old! I've never not worked! So it's like pure torture, just as you said!! In the discomfort of all of it, I'm trying not to just rush or jump or grasp onto the next thing for the sheer purpose of not wanting to be uncomfortable. I know in my heart if I am still and open enough to allow that it will come in time. I may not do it gracefully or without lots of tears or tantrums, but I'm going to do my best. Thank you for your kind note. ❤️
Hi Sarah - thank you for sharing and being so open, that’s not always an easy thing to do and your words are the stuff life is made of. I’m gutted for you because it’s clear how much you love your job. Praying that something opens up for you so you can continue to what you love. I’m a lot older than you and have experienced many ups and downs and each time it’s new and I don’t have a playbook. Your thinking and feeling honestly with yourself will get you through each time. Don’t be angry with yourself, be kind and supportive and respectful of YOU. Living with self-love helps keep your heart peaceful in stressful times. .
YOU are such a remarkable wonderful resourceful loving kind smart caring respectful imaginative person! In this jobs market you bring great value to anyone looking for someone with your qualities and training. Check out programs that hire military personnel. Breathe and meditate and love yourself so the angst you’ve felt doesn’t cover up the incredible person you are. My best to you!
Truly, this is so much nicer than anything I've said to myself in a long while. Thank you for this. What a balm your words are. I will come back here and re-read this as many times as I need to so it soaks in. Thank you.
Oh Sarah…I too have been through something like this, more than once. At first it’s devastating. But as I’ve gotten older, early fifties now, I’ve come to realize that it always ends up being ok. Somehow, some way, it always ends up being ok. It always works out. And what you thought, expected or wanted doesn’t even compare to what ends up being. Change often means there’s something more for you. If you’re always comfortable growth comes much slower. Change is character building! Whatever comes next for you I’m sure it’s going to be wonderful! How could it not be?? You got this girl! Sending you positive thoughts from Western Washington! -Kandi
Thank you very much Kandi for sharing your experience and your wisdom. Here's to character building! Haha!!
Sarah, I am so sorry to hear this about your job! I went through something similar a few years ago. I'm a pastry chef and I had worked at a little mom and pop coffee shop for several years when a former employee took over as owner. Things were fine for a couple years and then I get let go via TEXT on my weekend once, out of the blue with no warning. I had put so much of myself into the work I did there and had a lot of loyal customers, and being let go was incredibly unfounded. I didn't know what I was going to do and had no other income at the time, but the very same day I posted to my social media about no longer being a part of that company, I was DMed by the head chef and owner of a well respected local restaurant, asking if I'd like to sit down and talk about a job opportunity. I took that job, and a year and a half later, I've gotten to hone my craft in a different area of kitchen work that I had previously not attempted, and I've learned SO much! I have faith that you'll land on your feet 💜
Amanda I'm so glad you shared this story! What a testament to the notion that things are always working out for us...even if it doesn't seem like it at the moment. BTW--when do you want to come over and cook/bake together?! 😝🤩
Anytime I'm in upstate NY! 😅 You can follow my work IG if you'd like, @amanda.made.it!
Oh yay!! GLADLY following and can't wait to soak in all your gorgeous recipes!
{{HUGS}}
Perhaps it's time to work on your next calling... you're one brilliant writer! It would not surprise me if your next adventure turns out to be a full time author!
You got this, Sarah.
Oh this is just so good. Here's a quick story for you:
About a year ago my mom, completely and totally out of the blue, said to me one day on the phone: "I see you in a chunky sweater, sitting at a desk looking out a window with a steaming cup of coffee while you're working on your book. I see you as a writer."
Fast forward to a few months ago and I was out on a walk randomly thinking about what she'd said, laughing at how exact her vision was and how I could see it just based on how she'd described it.
Later that morning Chris and I were down in Rhinebeck, NY spending the day walking around and enjoying seeing a few new little towns. We were in this store that sold both mens and women's clothing and home goods and I walked up to Chris who was in the women's section and he held up this chunky knit black cardigan and said, "This would be an awesome writing sweater for you!"
I had to stop him and ask him to repeat it I was so shocked!
So...thank you for these words. I've been thinking about this a lot lately. And I've been writing things as they come. And I have several books inside me. It appears I now have the time to write them. ❤️
First, (((BIG HUG))).
I think, generally, the older we get, the better equipped we become to handle the ol' rug pulling. I never had the perspective you seem to have at such a young age (David may be your Jiminy Cricket), so it took a long time to get comfortable with big change/losses. And to be honest, I'm still not quite there, but after many, many more rug pulls, I'm definitely much, much closer (worrying in in my DNA).
Hang in there! And yes, pay attention. Love on the buggies and the chickens and the furmers. Oh, and Chris, too. :-)
Lisa this is such a sweet note - thank you. Hahaha yes, must not forget about Chris! 😝 I love how you called it the ol' rug pulling. It made me giggle and I'm loving any levity I can find at the moment! Have you ever watched the movie Peaceful Warrior? I think it was last week's Farm Note that I talked about it. If you've not seen it--it's a fave of mine. And David is absolutely Soc to me. I've even told him that and bought him a copy of the book.
I've always said that my worrying could maybe be dialed down a bit, but somehow it's also gotten me to some pretty cool places so I at least like to think it holds some sort of purpose and can't all be bad! I love how Liz Gilbert talks about it in this interview she did with Marie Forleo...it's from YEARS ago but it is still as good as gold: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HyUYa-BnjU8
If you get a chance to listen to it I hope you enjoy it as much as I have many times over.
Funny enough I’m going through exactly the same thing right now. My company downsized by half and I’ve been frantically applying to new jobs since the beginning of June and I’ve had little success, not even an interview! I have many years in the pharmaceutical industry (25) and I haven’t had one hiring manager reach out when others in my company have already landed new jobs. I’m beginning to worry that nothing will happen. I do have a neighbor who said he has an inside sales position in the food industry that I actually think I’m going to talk to him about. It’s a completely new industry but I am a foodie, and I love to cook with good quality produce so I know what to look for when trying to sell to the restaurants and hotel chefs that I would potentially be selling to. Do I take that chance? I probably will if nothing comes of my applications within the next month. Am I terrified? Another yes! What you wrote today resonates with me so much! Thank you for putting it out there! Maybe taking this step will lead to something enjoyable for me to do in my last 12 years of employment! I’m heading towards retirement by then so who knows? It may just be the work I need!
Sandra,
I'm very sorry to hear that this happened to you and can't believe the experience you've been having with having such a tough time trying to get a job! I've been doing the same - more than 50 applications and nothing to show for it but a string of rejection letters and complete silence. 13 years as a leader and military officer. 3 degrees. An MBA. A business owner. And exactly the same as you said - finding others scoring jobs more quickly/easily. I'd be lying if I wasn't looking around saying, "What the heck is wrong with me!?"
Ok, so with that out of the way...it makes me want to say this: what is for you not only will not pass you...it CANNOT pass you. Sure, we can get in our own way and do plenty of things to muck it up along the way, but those doors are being closed to you because they were never meant to be yours to walk through. It does NOT mean you are not worthy of them. It simply means they were never yours to begin with.
I heard something the other day: Rejection is Protection. Rejection does not mean that something is wrong with you, it means that you are being REDIRECTED towards what is better suited to exactly the thing that is meant for you next. Oftentimes, just on the other end of rejection is the thing we were being positioned for. In that time, we often face struggles because we're being tested to see if we've dealt with our demons, if you will, so that we're ready to rise to the challenge when the next HELL YES comes rushing in.
Chris has this saying I've always loved: "You don't have to know what you want for the rest of your life but you do have to prepare yourself so that when the moment presents itself, you will be ready."
Not that I have ANY weight in the matter whatsoever, but this sales position sounds AMAZING--especially if it's based around something you already love so much. I can't wait to hear if you decide to talk to him about it and at least explore it as an option! You never know where that might lead.
Thank you for sharing what you're going through. I'll be thinking of you as you navigate this time and this really helped me, too. Hugs to you!
Sarah,
Thank you so much for replying! I completely understand when you ask “what’s wrong with me?” I’ve done it so many times over the last few months. I spoke to a recruiter who said to me “it’s not you, it’s them!”. While this helped a bit there’s always the question in the back of your kind when you see others getting calls for interviews and it’s just crickets in your end.
I will definitely be talking to my neighbor about the inside sales position he has available. I need to explore what it’s about. Who knows? It may lead to something fantastic!
I truly hope something falls into your lap that will become more than just a job because it follows one (or more) of your passions!
I will definitely be thinking of you as I go through my journey :) I know you’ll find something great, just as I will.
Here’s to new beginnings and to letting go of what we can’t control!
We've got this!!
My dad got sick a few years ago and died very quickly. I worked with him and all my life was based around the security he had given me. He died in the middle of a financial catastrophe, that he may have been able to manage but that we had no clue how to resolve. It took us 9 years to fix everything and in doing all that work, I learned that I’m a very strong person, a pretty methodical person, and that I can do anything if I just stop telling myself I can’t. I would much rather still have my dad... but I’m glad to know that I can do terribly hard things if I have to.
Best wishes for what’s coming next!
Laura thank you for sharing this deeply tough story. I resonated with this so much. The circumstances were different, but when my dad also suddenly passed none of his affairs were in order. Rather than grieving his death, I spent six months furiously working to get my mom to as best of place I could with her living and financial situation before heading off to a six month deployment. My dad had been working in the UAE when he died and coincidentally I was stationed in Abu Dhabi for my deployment. Each week, my general would let me leave the base and go to the UAE court to beg the government to cash the money from the accounts my dad had there, as he was being paid in Dinar and then transferring that money to a US bank every so often. It was a horrendous time. But just as you said--as much as I'd still much rather have my dad still here, I was so proud the day the judge caved and finally let me take home my dad's money to give to my mom. It was really special of you to have shared this...thank you for reminding me of this lesson, too. 🙏
That’s the worst part, not being able to grieve. So many years have passed and I imagine I’ve done it in bits and pieces over the years, but it’s not what you expect to do when a parent dies. I would have thought I’d get to shut down and I just had to keep truckin. Again, I’m glad that it taught me what I’m capable of, but it was learned in the worst way. I’m glad you were able to help your mom. That has been my guiding principle for the last 9 years, protecting her. Now I have to find a new purpose and it’s not as easy as one might expect. I’m just trying to stay calm and listen and hopefully I will find it. I’m positive we both will!!!
This is so much for you to handle and to have gone through. I'm really sorry for the way it played out and for the loss of your dad but glad you realize your strength. Here if you ever need an ear. Something else I learned was it doesn't matter how many years have passed--you can still be grieving and truly never get over a loss such as this. ❤️
That’s probably where I’m at, still quietly grieving. Thanks for the offer of an ear. Likewise. Watching you guys and all your menagerie and flowers and fields has been a great joy during difficult times. ❤️
Ugh - what a terrible feeling.. the rug pulling metaphor is interesting because the feeling it evokes is shaky. Shaky sucks! I recall the feeling, and as someone who works on grant dollars (never stable) I know it too well. But you learn to strengthen your core (more methaphor for me) and stand steady. In the meantime you learn to plan for the worst - but remember how much you have already and expect the best... it's what you deserve!
It's so hard not to spiral about the next thing but I know in my heart the stillness is what is best. Such wise and sound and STEADY advice- thank you for this, Liz!
I can only pass on what my friend Amy told me the first time my life fell apart: “It will all be okay in the end. If it’s not okay, it’s simply not the end.” I have looked in the mirror and said that out loud so many times. Also this: Just when the caterpillar thought the world had ended, it emerged as a butterfly.”
Catchy sayings aside, it’s normal to feel all that you’ve expressed, and dancing towards the void is not easy, it’s an act of courage and faith. When I ran from the void, it chased me. When I danced with it, it helped me evolve, like that caterpillar above. The “goo” stage in the middle is the void doing its thing.
Mmm mmm mmm. This is all SO very good Regina, thank you! Looks like I'll be doing my fair share of dancing in the days and weeks ahead!
A friend of mine always used to say, "It's either this or something better." I love that mentality.
Aso I hate autocorrect.
😂😂😂
People like you and I—those who do, do, do, who take pride in our work, who like to see the output of our efforts—tend to be those who like to be in control. And for people like us, uncertainty is the worst! I feel for you. Stewing in uncertainty, and moving to comfort with uncertainty, is quite the undertaking. I admire how you are approaching it—with an openness to experience and by listening. I wish I had some words of wisdom but know that I am sending virtual hugs from Minnesota.
Valerie - I've had a job since I was 14 years old! I've never not worked! So it's like pure torture, just as you said!! In the discomfort of all of it, I'm trying not to just rush or jump or grasp onto the next thing for the sheer purpose of not wanting to be uncomfortable. I know in my heart if I am still and open enough to allow that it will come in time. I may not do it gracefully or without lots of tears or tantrums, but I'm going to do my best. Thank you for your kind note. ❤️