I just hit the one year mark of my husbands passing. Although it’s of course easier than a year ago I still cry at least a little most days. But I have no choice but to move on. My cat and my grandson make me happy. And a new baby girl coming in April. What worked best for me was joining groups and being with people as much as possible. That’s my ‘new’ life although I miss my old life with my husband more than I can say.
This gave me such a lump in my throat, Jill. I am so sorry for your loss of your husband and can't even begin to imagine how hard the transition between the new and the old must be. Sending you comfort despite knowing there's nothing that truly fills that hole.
How am I doing? I am looking for some relief from sadness, worry and grief. It’s been a difficult year and a half. We have lost three cats, my mother in law, my oldest brother and, earlier this week, very unexpectedly, our dog. It’s difficult to just get through a day anymore with all that is happening right now in our country. I’m struggling. I know I’m not alone.
It has been a sleepless week for me. My daughter is so afraid of losing her federal job. They fired 400 employees in her building in one day alone!
I am upset that the meeting with President Zelenskyy became unhinged.
I have lived through the 60s protests and Vietnam, Nixon’s resignation, Kennedy’s assassination, and 14 presidential terms and never remember our country being so corrupt. God help us!
I feel for you as a Canadian. We know there are many kind people in the US and are horrified like you on what is happening in your country. Good luck to your daughter. There will be more serious fallouts on their actions.
How are you really doing? As best I can. As best I can. Got so much "medical schtuff" going on, it's hard to wrap my head around it
.
What made you smile this week? Something funny hubby said that I can no longer remember!
What's something wonderful going on right now? That 3 years past my heart attack, then a week later my heart going into V Tach and having to have 2 stents and a pacemaker/defibrillator put in my chest that I am still here. Every day is a gift.
What are some things you're dealing with? Tomorrow I go see an Ophthalmologist to see if I have a cataract in my right eye. When I close my left eye, everything is fuzzy/blurry on the bottom half as I look out of the right eye. Then I see the Cardiologist later this month for my 6 month checkup. It should be good, but you never know. Then on the 28th, I go bionic! Having my right knee replaced as the result of a fall 2 years ago. Arthroscopic surgery was done last year, but it didn't help and now I'm bone on bone and a constant level 6 on the "how does your knee feel today" measure. Some days it's higher!
What's one piece of advice? Enjoy your younger years. I was not gonna "get old" but it sure came fast. See the things, do the things on your bucket list while you still can. This advice was given to me by MANY people and I thought, yeah, yeah, not gonna happen to me! Oh YES it does!
Sue you have quite the list of things and I imagine it's no easy task to mentally, physically, and emotionally sort through everything. I'll be thinking of you as you go about your appointments and get answers and your surgery. Wishing you very good news and speedy healing. Amen to your advice!
Its been a month since mums passing - i have had every emotion during that time. But its the little things that have supported me - a friend messaging me with a rediscovered photo of mum; going to a friends for coffee and to play with her kitties; walking through the park to see crocuses and snowdrops blooming; seeing a particularily beautiful sunset. Its the small joys we all need in our lives to keep us going. How am I? All the better for the support of a small but as near perfect a group of friends. Theres always darker days - but somehow, we always come through. Look back if you need to to a happy memory - it helps💝💝💝💝
Maggie what awfully sad news of your mom's passing - I am very sorry to hear of your loss and hate that you have to bear the grief. Go easy on yourself and hold onto that support group. We've just got to keep on keeping on but that doesn't mean it doesn't absolutely positively suck having to handle the hard stuff of life. Thinking of you.
I love hearing Molly Max braying😊. Thanks for sharing that moment with us.
I had two happy moments this week.
The weather was pleasant. We've had a winter with low temps, wind and snow. The warmer temps felt good along with seeing my Narcissus and Iris peeking out.
My second happy moment was seeing a bloom on a pot of Violas I started from seed last summer. I started them on a lark by throwing some seed in a pot. The foliage took off quickly and it now looks like a little shrub in the pot. Seeing that one little bloom made me almost giddy.
Thought we could use a little lightness since I've been quite the downer lately!! Love your happy moments, thank YOU for sharing them with us and spreading the light that is so desperately needed right now!
I have lots of answers to your questions but choose to focus on the one about what made me smile this week. Our son, who has been to hell and back for most of his teen years with mental illness and substance abuse from self-medicating, is currently in a healthy life space. He’s been sober 5 years and started at a local college last fall - a few years after his friends did which was embarrassing to him but he got past it. This week he shared his GPA with a massive smile reflecting his self pride. 3.7 is incredible for him but I was most thrilled with his ability to feel positive about himself. After years of misplaced self-loathing it seems he is starting to see why he is so beloved just for being himself. No greater gift for me as his mom.
Hope the standing desk and all your efforts to heal pay off swiftly!
Julia. This made me well up with tears so big. Gosh, he's not even my son and I'm over here beaming with pride for him!!! I think your choice of words, "misplaced self-loathing" is something that I didn't know I needed to hear. It's maybe never rung in my ears that way, but I relate to that feeling from back when I was younger...I always thought there was something wrong with me growing up and never had the words or skills or tools to define it or work through it. I think it's why I turned so desperately to self-help in my teens and have followed that personal development path for so many years. He must feel so proud and so accomplished and I just empathize for him how hard it is to face your demons and overcome the things you thought you couldn't. Thank you so much for sharing this...I'll be thinking of him and feel really happy for him and for you all that he's finding his way.
we had to make the same experience with our younger son in his teen years; now he ist 36 and on a good way with his adorable son of 5. But I will never forget the darkest days in my life we had to manage due to his mental and physical illness which took several years to overcome.
How I'm I doing? Well we just got back from a month in Maui and it was fantastic but as a Canadian I felt much guilt and anger being there after the despicable way Trump has been treating Canada. Then just before coming home seeing the horrible way him and JD treated Volodymyr Zelenskyy in the Oval office. We are to take an annual trip to Palm Springs in Oct and questioning it, but we have time shares and have to use them. I'm sure you and many of your readers are upset by all that is happening in your country. How he is treating your dedicated government workers, veterans, Ukraine and your most loyal neighbour Canada. It's all so depressing but today the sun is shining here and it's warm with no wind so will go for a walk to clear my head. Sorry for bring politics into this but it has to be sad for many here. I have many friends in the US and I know some of them voted for Trump which makes me extremely sad and will have to keep my feelings silent with them to preserve the friendships.
Thanks for listening and I hope that calmer heads prevail and something can be done within your country to stop this insanity.
How am I doing? I was added to the kidney transplant list in December but they tell me it’s a 4-5 year wait. So I’m looking for a living donor. In the meantime I’m taking care of 3 cats, planting seeds for our garden, and trying to stay as healthy as I can!
Ann I am SO rooting for you and truly cannot believe the wait is as long as it is. Hoping like Sheila mentioned as well that you get that living donor and have the transplant far sooner. Thank you for sharing this and how you're persisting despite it all!
Keep finding happy things with your kitties and garden and look after yourself. I have two friends who advertised for a living kidney donor and succeeded and have been living wonderful lives since. Good luck.
How are you really doing? Well my go to answer for this at the moment is “I am alive and that is a victory of it’s own right now”. Or in other words, I am not okay and just trying the best I can but feel so inadequate.
What’s made me smil this week? My husband. My God that man try his best to make me smile and be there for me all the time.
What’s keeping me up at night? Oh my overthinking brain keeps me up at night. Right now the stress of seeing my man so sad in his job and struggling to find a new job. Me being fired because by boss is an ass and now I am worried about money, because i got a new job but leds hours. So am I doing thinks right or should I have taken another path… oh so much to think about and so little I can do.
Woulderful going on? My man feeling I am sad, stressed and overwhelmed and took me on a mini holiday. I still do not know how i lucked out on him.
What I’m dealing with? Being a expath is so hard. When will my visa expired. Should I go home now or go somewhere else, what is my rights, where do i belong now.
Advice? I do not think i am one to give advice. But I know i am happy we stopped dreaming and did it. Yes I have a lot of stress and worries. But I love the experience of being a expath so much. And I am a overthinker so stress and worries just follows me…
Tina this is just so highly relatable thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and struggles and joys. These BIG life decisions are not easy and it sounds to me like you both are doing the very best you can. As a fellow overthinker I can understand how much this is weighing on you...the farm has taught me that I do better when I make lists...write out all the options...take a step away from it all...come back to it with a clear head to make the next best decision. Not the *perfect* decision...just the next best one, and the next best one after that.
I make so many list, but at night it is hard. Especially now when my rock is so sad in his job. I love him and being there beside him. Listening to him sleep makes me so worrie about him being so sad. But list is good. I love them. Make them. A friend once told me to make the list and for every thing on it go for a walk and find people with something funny. Now living in Australia i look for men with mullets. So if i have 5 things on my list i have to keep on walking to I have found 5 men with mullets. It keeps my mind busy with looking and a good walk is never bad🤣
How am I doing? Not great, I am horrified about what is happening to our country, I fear we may lose it if things don't turn around. I'm grateful for my partner and my family and we are mostly healthy. What keeps me up at night is that I fear for my savings, Medicare and social security, which I have carefully planned out so I could retire. What made me laugh is my fairly new found kitty, who jumped into my yard last August, he was so friendly that I scooped him up before he became a street cat. He makes me laugh everyday with his playfulness and curiosity. What is going well....I'm creating a new line of jewelry from old watches, it's fun and it helps take the focus away from this disaster of a country for a bit. What I've tried to do is a lot of self care, drinking loads of calming tea and sitting with my kitties. Thanks for the space to chat. I just love seeing your pictures and videos of your dream farm, that makes me smile....
Sue - thank you for taking the time to go through the questions! Yay! There are so many who share your worries and I am saddened so much by this. Hug that kitty of yours and shoot me a photo of the jewelry you're working on if you'd like--that sounds so cool! I've been itching to get back out there and start sharing with y'all again...feels like it's time to get out of my own way.
How am i really doing? It is a very complicated time, we had to move these past 3 days after living in the same apartment for the last almost 15 years so it was a stressful time but we made it, now there is boxes everywhere so it would be sometime before everything is back in place, but I am hope this new place will bring good things and hopefully a job that I haven’t been able to find, so lot pf things but with a lot of hope.
Zelene a big move is no joke! And being among your piles of things is very, very overwhelming so I totally get that feeling. I'm excited for you to have the feeling of relief as you sort through it all and your things find their new home, as do you. Wishing you joy as you undertake making this new place home.
Honestly, feeling a little unsettled. Like, it's hard to look forward to things that would otherwise bring joy with everything going on externally in the world. My day-job work has been both slow, but also stressful, and while I've been doing it for almost 20 years, I feel like it's my first year here and I have so much to learn. I can't decide if my internal voice is telling me to cut and run, or to hunker down and get to work. In the meantime, I'm trying to calm this internal strife with three things: selecting some seeds to plant for an expanded veggie garden, planning a couple of trips, and getting more organized at home and work. Perhaps an organized workspace and homespace will lead to a more organized mindset. And maybe getting away will bring more focus to my work and that will help me make a more long-term decision there.
Andi's book recommendations: The Fields, by Erin Young - a murder mystery that involves big agricultural components, and rural life in Iowa; Eve, by Cat Bohannon - non-fiction about the evolution of the female body that is absolutely engaging and answers tons of questions I didn't even know I had; and Finding the Mother Tree, by Suzanne Simard - how the trees are complex structures that are not just leaves and trunks, but an interconnected, underground network that helps them adapt and share resources with their neighbors.
Thank you for asking - and for sharing your struggles. Wishing you, Chris, and your menagerie of farm friends peace. Give the furmers a head scritch!
Andi - thank you for taking the time to share what's going on in your world and in your mind. It sounds like you have all the pieces in place to work out the answers you need and I love how you thought through this out loud one by one by one. I think I've tried to share these things candidly through the years...that putting on an outfit even though I'm sitting in the house all day feels better. That cleaning up and organizing my space helps declutter my mind. That planning a garden helps feel like there's hope...something to look forward to. And so I applaud and celebrate you for the ways you're doing this in your own life. The trips sound like they are much needed! Also - thank you for the book recommendations! I'll be checking them all out!!!
I am deeply concerned about our world and our future in view of the behaviour of the president of the USA. Your country has always been a reliable supporter and even a friend of Europe after the second world war and now we all have to recognize that these facts seem to fade.
Now that spring comes back again with snowdrops, crocuses, longer daylight and even sunny days makes me smile as well as my big tuxedo cat Neroli sleeping near me now. I bought him from a shelter last August and in the beginning he was very scared and shy.
For my two grandsons (5), I hope for a good future in peace and for all of you as well!
Now, I‘m 67 and in good health hoping that this will last a long time.
Dear Sarah, I‘very grateful that you are sharing your life with us! 👍🏼☀️🌷🤗🙋🏼♀️
Annette thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and for your support and care--you can tell from the comments many are feeling the same as you around the world. I love that you're looking forward to the snowdrops and crocuses and all that spring brings with it - hope, light, growth, faith, grace.
I am stressed out and sickened by the state of our nation. By hearing people call themselves "Christians" and cut funds to children, the disabled and the elderly - so rich people can get richer. My faith in faith is shaken. I struggle with feeling genuine hatred and disgust for people who voted for this - it's a heaviness that drains me. My university job (over 30years) now not safe, my staff who are young are scared and I can offer no solace. As a team we have resorted to keeping our spirits up by sharing our funny beloved pets even more and looking for ways to volunteer with kids. And I read through the comments and know pain and fear is all around. Thanks for sharing the donkeys - and very happy that the hawk did not snack on a chicken while in the barn!!
Liz thank you for taking the time to share what's on your mind. There are so many who share your sentiments. I am hoping the best for you and for those you work with.
How am I really doing? Right now i'm really trying to stay in a positive mentality. I had a magistrate rule that I was to be evicted from my home. I got behind and rent because of chronic illness. I was not heard at the court date, so I appealed the ruling. I have until next hearing to gather evidence to support my claim and pray the judge will rule with compassion in my favor and allow me to stay til August when my lease is up. For now, I pay to stay in my home to the court. I'll begin to pack mid March. I've yet to find a new place to live so I've gotten a reservation at an extended stay hotel.
It's really hard to keep positive ;whenever I look at my Kitty cats I feel I failed them.
Dawn I am so sorry you are going through this and hope you have others to lean on as you work through the next steps. You have not failed them--they still have you. You have not failed yourself either, so please don't go on thinking that. I am personally rooting for you and cheering you on in hopes that the ruling swings in your favor and that you can buy yourself the much needed time to get things in order for what comes next for you. Sending you strength.
I just hit the one year mark of my husbands passing. Although it’s of course easier than a year ago I still cry at least a little most days. But I have no choice but to move on. My cat and my grandson make me happy. And a new baby girl coming in April. What worked best for me was joining groups and being with people as much as possible. That’s my ‘new’ life although I miss my old life with my husband more than I can say.
This gave me such a lump in my throat, Jill. I am so sorry for your loss of your husband and can't even begin to imagine how hard the transition between the new and the old must be. Sending you comfort despite knowing there's nothing that truly fills that hole.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
It sounds as though you are making healthy strides at building a new life for yourself.
I will remember you in my prayers.
How am I doing? I am looking for some relief from sadness, worry and grief. It’s been a difficult year and a half. We have lost three cats, my mother in law, my oldest brother and, earlier this week, very unexpectedly, our dog. It’s difficult to just get through a day anymore with all that is happening right now in our country. I’m struggling. I know I’m not alone.
I am very sorry for every single one of your losses. The weight of the grief must feel very heavy, I'm sure. You are not alone.
It has been a sleepless week for me. My daughter is so afraid of losing her federal job. They fired 400 employees in her building in one day alone!
I am upset that the meeting with President Zelenskyy became unhinged.
I have lived through the 60s protests and Vietnam, Nixon’s resignation, Kennedy’s assassination, and 14 presidential terms and never remember our country being so corrupt. God help us!
I'll be crossing my fingers for you and for her that her position is spared--it's been a lot of chaos for so many, sadly.
I feel for you as a Canadian. We know there are many kind people in the US and are horrified like you on what is happening in your country. Good luck to your daughter. There will be more serious fallouts on their actions.
How are you really doing? As best I can. As best I can. Got so much "medical schtuff" going on, it's hard to wrap my head around it
.
What made you smile this week? Something funny hubby said that I can no longer remember!
What's something wonderful going on right now? That 3 years past my heart attack, then a week later my heart going into V Tach and having to have 2 stents and a pacemaker/defibrillator put in my chest that I am still here. Every day is a gift.
What are some things you're dealing with? Tomorrow I go see an Ophthalmologist to see if I have a cataract in my right eye. When I close my left eye, everything is fuzzy/blurry on the bottom half as I look out of the right eye. Then I see the Cardiologist later this month for my 6 month checkup. It should be good, but you never know. Then on the 28th, I go bionic! Having my right knee replaced as the result of a fall 2 years ago. Arthroscopic surgery was done last year, but it didn't help and now I'm bone on bone and a constant level 6 on the "how does your knee feel today" measure. Some days it's higher!
What's one piece of advice? Enjoy your younger years. I was not gonna "get old" but it sure came fast. See the things, do the things on your bucket list while you still can. This advice was given to me by MANY people and I thought, yeah, yeah, not gonna happen to me! Oh YES it does!
Sue you have quite the list of things and I imagine it's no easy task to mentally, physically, and emotionally sort through everything. I'll be thinking of you as you go about your appointments and get answers and your surgery. Wishing you very good news and speedy healing. Amen to your advice!
Its been a month since mums passing - i have had every emotion during that time. But its the little things that have supported me - a friend messaging me with a rediscovered photo of mum; going to a friends for coffee and to play with her kitties; walking through the park to see crocuses and snowdrops blooming; seeing a particularily beautiful sunset. Its the small joys we all need in our lives to keep us going. How am I? All the better for the support of a small but as near perfect a group of friends. Theres always darker days - but somehow, we always come through. Look back if you need to to a happy memory - it helps💝💝💝💝
Maggie what awfully sad news of your mom's passing - I am very sorry to hear of your loss and hate that you have to bear the grief. Go easy on yourself and hold onto that support group. We've just got to keep on keeping on but that doesn't mean it doesn't absolutely positively suck having to handle the hard stuff of life. Thinking of you.
I love hearing Molly Max braying😊. Thanks for sharing that moment with us.
I had two happy moments this week.
The weather was pleasant. We've had a winter with low temps, wind and snow. The warmer temps felt good along with seeing my Narcissus and Iris peeking out.
My second happy moment was seeing a bloom on a pot of Violas I started from seed last summer. I started them on a lark by throwing some seed in a pot. The foliage took off quickly and it now looks like a little shrub in the pot. Seeing that one little bloom made me almost giddy.
Thought we could use a little lightness since I've been quite the downer lately!! Love your happy moments, thank YOU for sharing them with us and spreading the light that is so desperately needed right now!
I have lots of answers to your questions but choose to focus on the one about what made me smile this week. Our son, who has been to hell and back for most of his teen years with mental illness and substance abuse from self-medicating, is currently in a healthy life space. He’s been sober 5 years and started at a local college last fall - a few years after his friends did which was embarrassing to him but he got past it. This week he shared his GPA with a massive smile reflecting his self pride. 3.7 is incredible for him but I was most thrilled with his ability to feel positive about himself. After years of misplaced self-loathing it seems he is starting to see why he is so beloved just for being himself. No greater gift for me as his mom.
Hope the standing desk and all your efforts to heal pay off swiftly!
Julia. This made me well up with tears so big. Gosh, he's not even my son and I'm over here beaming with pride for him!!! I think your choice of words, "misplaced self-loathing" is something that I didn't know I needed to hear. It's maybe never rung in my ears that way, but I relate to that feeling from back when I was younger...I always thought there was something wrong with me growing up and never had the words or skills or tools to define it or work through it. I think it's why I turned so desperately to self-help in my teens and have followed that personal development path for so many years. He must feel so proud and so accomplished and I just empathize for him how hard it is to face your demons and overcome the things you thought you couldn't. Thank you so much for sharing this...I'll be thinking of him and feel really happy for him and for you all that he's finding his way.
Dear Julia,
we had to make the same experience with our younger son in his teen years; now he ist 36 and on a good way with his adorable son of 5. But I will never forget the darkest days in my life we had to manage due to his mental and physical illness which took several years to overcome.
I'm very sorry to hear he and you all went through this. So glad to hear he is doing better these days--that's such a relief to hear.
How I'm I doing? Well we just got back from a month in Maui and it was fantastic but as a Canadian I felt much guilt and anger being there after the despicable way Trump has been treating Canada. Then just before coming home seeing the horrible way him and JD treated Volodymyr Zelenskyy in the Oval office. We are to take an annual trip to Palm Springs in Oct and questioning it, but we have time shares and have to use them. I'm sure you and many of your readers are upset by all that is happening in your country. How he is treating your dedicated government workers, veterans, Ukraine and your most loyal neighbour Canada. It's all so depressing but today the sun is shining here and it's warm with no wind so will go for a walk to clear my head. Sorry for bring politics into this but it has to be sad for many here. I have many friends in the US and I know some of them voted for Trump which makes me extremely sad and will have to keep my feelings silent with them to preserve the friendships.
Thanks for listening and I hope that calmer heads prevail and something can be done within your country to stop this insanity.
As I went to type a reply I thought, "Where do I even begin?" but you've said it all so I think I'm going to just leave it at...I know.
How am I doing? I was added to the kidney transplant list in December but they tell me it’s a 4-5 year wait. So I’m looking for a living donor. In the meantime I’m taking care of 3 cats, planting seeds for our garden, and trying to stay as healthy as I can!
Ann I am SO rooting for you and truly cannot believe the wait is as long as it is. Hoping like Sheila mentioned as well that you get that living donor and have the transplant far sooner. Thank you for sharing this and how you're persisting despite it all!
Keep finding happy things with your kitties and garden and look after yourself. I have two friends who advertised for a living kidney donor and succeeded and have been living wonderful lives since. Good luck.
How are you really doing? Well my go to answer for this at the moment is “I am alive and that is a victory of it’s own right now”. Or in other words, I am not okay and just trying the best I can but feel so inadequate.
What’s made me smil this week? My husband. My God that man try his best to make me smile and be there for me all the time.
What’s keeping me up at night? Oh my overthinking brain keeps me up at night. Right now the stress of seeing my man so sad in his job and struggling to find a new job. Me being fired because by boss is an ass and now I am worried about money, because i got a new job but leds hours. So am I doing thinks right or should I have taken another path… oh so much to think about and so little I can do.
Woulderful going on? My man feeling I am sad, stressed and overwhelmed and took me on a mini holiday. I still do not know how i lucked out on him.
What I’m dealing with? Being a expath is so hard. When will my visa expired. Should I go home now or go somewhere else, what is my rights, where do i belong now.
Advice? I do not think i am one to give advice. But I know i am happy we stopped dreaming and did it. Yes I have a lot of stress and worries. But I love the experience of being a expath so much. And I am a overthinker so stress and worries just follows me…
Tina this is just so highly relatable thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and struggles and joys. These BIG life decisions are not easy and it sounds to me like you both are doing the very best you can. As a fellow overthinker I can understand how much this is weighing on you...the farm has taught me that I do better when I make lists...write out all the options...take a step away from it all...come back to it with a clear head to make the next best decision. Not the *perfect* decision...just the next best one, and the next best one after that.
I make so many list, but at night it is hard. Especially now when my rock is so sad in his job. I love him and being there beside him. Listening to him sleep makes me so worrie about him being so sad. But list is good. I love them. Make them. A friend once told me to make the list and for every thing on it go for a walk and find people with something funny. Now living in Australia i look for men with mullets. So if i have 5 things on my list i have to keep on walking to I have found 5 men with mullets. It keeps my mind busy with looking and a good walk is never bad🤣
HAHAHA OMG! How funny is THAT!!!!! Thank you for this pure GEM!!!
How am I doing? Not great, I am horrified about what is happening to our country, I fear we may lose it if things don't turn around. I'm grateful for my partner and my family and we are mostly healthy. What keeps me up at night is that I fear for my savings, Medicare and social security, which I have carefully planned out so I could retire. What made me laugh is my fairly new found kitty, who jumped into my yard last August, he was so friendly that I scooped him up before he became a street cat. He makes me laugh everyday with his playfulness and curiosity. What is going well....I'm creating a new line of jewelry from old watches, it's fun and it helps take the focus away from this disaster of a country for a bit. What I've tried to do is a lot of self care, drinking loads of calming tea and sitting with my kitties. Thanks for the space to chat. I just love seeing your pictures and videos of your dream farm, that makes me smile....
Sue - thank you for taking the time to go through the questions! Yay! There are so many who share your worries and I am saddened so much by this. Hug that kitty of yours and shoot me a photo of the jewelry you're working on if you'd like--that sounds so cool! I've been itching to get back out there and start sharing with y'all again...feels like it's time to get out of my own way.
How am i really doing? It is a very complicated time, we had to move these past 3 days after living in the same apartment for the last almost 15 years so it was a stressful time but we made it, now there is boxes everywhere so it would be sometime before everything is back in place, but I am hope this new place will bring good things and hopefully a job that I haven’t been able to find, so lot pf things but with a lot of hope.
Zelene a big move is no joke! And being among your piles of things is very, very overwhelming so I totally get that feeling. I'm excited for you to have the feeling of relief as you sort through it all and your things find their new home, as do you. Wishing you joy as you undertake making this new place home.
Honestly, feeling a little unsettled. Like, it's hard to look forward to things that would otherwise bring joy with everything going on externally in the world. My day-job work has been both slow, but also stressful, and while I've been doing it for almost 20 years, I feel like it's my first year here and I have so much to learn. I can't decide if my internal voice is telling me to cut and run, or to hunker down and get to work. In the meantime, I'm trying to calm this internal strife with three things: selecting some seeds to plant for an expanded veggie garden, planning a couple of trips, and getting more organized at home and work. Perhaps an organized workspace and homespace will lead to a more organized mindset. And maybe getting away will bring more focus to my work and that will help me make a more long-term decision there.
Andi's book recommendations: The Fields, by Erin Young - a murder mystery that involves big agricultural components, and rural life in Iowa; Eve, by Cat Bohannon - non-fiction about the evolution of the female body that is absolutely engaging and answers tons of questions I didn't even know I had; and Finding the Mother Tree, by Suzanne Simard - how the trees are complex structures that are not just leaves and trunks, but an interconnected, underground network that helps them adapt and share resources with their neighbors.
Thank you for asking - and for sharing your struggles. Wishing you, Chris, and your menagerie of farm friends peace. Give the furmers a head scritch!
Andi - thank you for taking the time to share what's going on in your world and in your mind. It sounds like you have all the pieces in place to work out the answers you need and I love how you thought through this out loud one by one by one. I think I've tried to share these things candidly through the years...that putting on an outfit even though I'm sitting in the house all day feels better. That cleaning up and organizing my space helps declutter my mind. That planning a garden helps feel like there's hope...something to look forward to. And so I applaud and celebrate you for the ways you're doing this in your own life. The trips sound like they are much needed! Also - thank you for the book recommendations! I'll be checking them all out!!!
I am deeply concerned about our world and our future in view of the behaviour of the president of the USA. Your country has always been a reliable supporter and even a friend of Europe after the second world war and now we all have to recognize that these facts seem to fade.
Now that spring comes back again with snowdrops, crocuses, longer daylight and even sunny days makes me smile as well as my big tuxedo cat Neroli sleeping near me now. I bought him from a shelter last August and in the beginning he was very scared and shy.
For my two grandsons (5), I hope for a good future in peace and for all of you as well!
Now, I‘m 67 and in good health hoping that this will last a long time.
Dear Sarah, I‘very grateful that you are sharing your life with us! 👍🏼☀️🌷🤗🙋🏼♀️
Annette thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and for your support and care--you can tell from the comments many are feeling the same as you around the world. I love that you're looking forward to the snowdrops and crocuses and all that spring brings with it - hope, light, growth, faith, grace.
I am stressed out and sickened by the state of our nation. By hearing people call themselves "Christians" and cut funds to children, the disabled and the elderly - so rich people can get richer. My faith in faith is shaken. I struggle with feeling genuine hatred and disgust for people who voted for this - it's a heaviness that drains me. My university job (over 30years) now not safe, my staff who are young are scared and I can offer no solace. As a team we have resorted to keeping our spirits up by sharing our funny beloved pets even more and looking for ways to volunteer with kids. And I read through the comments and know pain and fear is all around. Thanks for sharing the donkeys - and very happy that the hawk did not snack on a chicken while in the barn!!
Liz thank you for taking the time to share what's on your mind. There are so many who share your sentiments. I am hoping the best for you and for those you work with.
How am I really doing? Right now i'm really trying to stay in a positive mentality. I had a magistrate rule that I was to be evicted from my home. I got behind and rent because of chronic illness. I was not heard at the court date, so I appealed the ruling. I have until next hearing to gather evidence to support my claim and pray the judge will rule with compassion in my favor and allow me to stay til August when my lease is up. For now, I pay to stay in my home to the court. I'll begin to pack mid March. I've yet to find a new place to live so I've gotten a reservation at an extended stay hotel.
It's really hard to keep positive ;whenever I look at my Kitty cats I feel I failed them.
Dawn I am so sorry you are going through this and hope you have others to lean on as you work through the next steps. You have not failed them--they still have you. You have not failed yourself either, so please don't go on thinking that. I am personally rooting for you and cheering you on in hopes that the ruling swings in your favor and that you can buy yourself the much needed time to get things in order for what comes next for you. Sending you strength.